Sacrifice

there are different types of sacrifice

there is the type of sacrifice which i would do willingly,

but this time my sacrifice are not the kind of sacrifices that i have to do willingly,

it's the sacrifice that is most likely being forced to,

and at this point of time i couldn't do anything about it ...

this is how exactly how it feels 

(sorry to say, the impact it's just not in the feeling, i can endure and deal with feelings, but i also have to sacrifice the needs of my children)

huffftttt ....
Definitely very frustrating,,

when  basic needs have to be sacrificed
(again... along with several more people and their families)

and what soo ridiculously is that

our rights have to be hold on because one tiny group of people has to have their funs ?, have to take care their "we know who" most probably?, along with  other luxurious daily or weekly needs ... yakkss... 

how can this be happening  ...
the admiration and probably some other emotions attached

for some reason , which  are getting blurry now ???  ,,,,
that's why i said earlier "things looks better from outside"

this is definitely too much..
the reasoning didn't make more sense either
and stupidly enough, being treated this way,
i still have my heart stuck ...another yakks for me....

when i finally have our free full weekends saturdays and sundays,

i can not do anything either, 

since i have no money either ...

total SUCK!!!

btw,  this is what those persons don't know,
the best part of all this was few days before, 
the moment when i had to tell them,
i wonder if one of those person can still smile like what when they told us
if they had to tell those 'small' people
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I just couldn't bare to look at their  expressions
especially the facial expression from one of my guy

his face was shock and looks like wanna cry,

i felt like crying too, on the other hand, i can't do anything either ...
i truly do not like this moment

If usually i can come up with a good excuse to neutralize whatever conditions,

this time i just told them plainly and bluntly ...

"don't ask me why, since i don't know either, and i honestly think it's not fair for us either"

short ~ simple ~ bad news is bad news ...

and now i just have to swallow all of it,

of course, my family also becomes the indirect victims of this situation ...

it comes with a regret sometimes,

why didn't i leave when i got the chance,

but since i did decided to be here,

then i just have to believe that God definitely has other plan ...

maybe now He is trying to open my eyes that some people are not as nice, as gentle and as kind as they appear to be ,,,,
or....
better plan of HIM,
is He will show me the rainbow after this
Doesn't a wise word say
"You have to put up with the rains if you want to see the beautiful Rainbow"

I don't know ............

LIFE IS GOD'S MISTERY, 

No One Knows How It Will Turn To at The End,

but HE Just Ask Me to Believe in HIS Plan and HIS Thought,

and I'd better Follow HIM

Ramadhan is Here

For my friends who is starting the Fasting Period today:

Selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa

Smoga diberikan kelancaran sampai hari Kemenangan tiba

dan Berkah yang menjalankannya.

a creative signage of Ramadhan taken from 

blog with title "SpenSa" dari anak2 SMPN 1 Malang

Conversation without Common Language

imagine how hard it is

to have conversation with non English speaking person

and for her, with non Korean person like me

it happened yesterday

and it wasn't a short conversation either

amazingly we manage to keep our 'conversation' alive for maybe one and half hour

we talked bout almost everything,

from myself, my family, my children,

even shared my experience in korea last august

bout place i work,

food, cooking

so did she,

she talked bout her husband, her family, her past work,

she invited me to come to her place if i go to Seoul again

A wonderful time spent with her

we still able to smile and laugh

i think we just try to guess one another by our expressions, body language

eventhough it was a struggle on both sides, both her and me ...

obviously, hehehe...

she is a very nice lady,

two years younger than my mom

and still looking very young, pretty, and energetic

she is one of 'the have' i should say, but very humble,
wide advanced knowledge of her came from her working background,..
almost 5 minutes i was trying to figure out, and finally .. ooo, she said publishing company, and i kept thinking of library .. silly me ....

Next time i meet her again,

and i am sure i will,

I already made a promise that next time we meet

i would already study more of Korean language

so  Aja, Aja Fighting ...

Let's Study Korean and Hangeul more seriously !!!
Allrite, Rebecca, one hour spent for facebook game everyday may become productive korean learning hour

More of them

Yesterday nite,
i posted some pictures in my facebook

but i set it so only me who can see it..  ho ho ho ,, look how silly i become

actually it's just regular pictures taken at the time of religious celebration
but i don't know for sure what would people from the same place would think of it,
and i don't want to ruin the pictures with unworthy and indecent comments
and i also don't have any other agenda behind it like -------
but with some people , i can never tell what they think  ...

i just admire them as is ...
even though today in that room, as if one of them became somebody i never know before,
nevertheless i just want to admire them from the outside

These Are What I Wrote for The Pictures
(sometimes imagination comes better without the pictures)

Captions from 1st picture:

they are happy ~ the sharing moment with those kids ...
I love these smiles ~ hopefully there will always be wonderful situations so that they can smile like this more often

Caption from 2nd picture:

true genuine smile of him when that little kid kiss the back of his hand
I am glad I capture this moment

Caption from 3rd picture:

he is stating his purposes for the new project

Caption from 4th picture:

he is closing his eyes ---- but Nope ~ he is not singing ...

Caption from 5th picture:

he keeps smiling

Caption from 6th picture:

people said smiling comes from the heart .....
he continues smiling .....

Caption from 7th picture:

Sharing is giving happiness to others we share and also giving happiness to ourselves ...
Things that make them smile sincerely.

Caption from 8th picture:

look >> they are 'standing down' for those kids ...

Caption from the Last picture i took:

The Three Special Gentlemen

Looks BETTER from Further & Outer Distance

it's always happen ...

...................

something we like or

someone we admire and respect,,,

looking something or someone from further away
is 
much much BETTER and much more LOVABLE 
than

when you start to look at it from closer distance

......

that's what happen...

when you start liking something,,,,

admiring someone,,,,

you can't help it ,,,

you start to dig deeper and deeper,,,,

so you can get a better and closer look at it,,,
or....
you start want to be closer,,,

but when you get inside ,,,

you find thing is not what you expected it ...

that's when it comes the regret

why you started to get closer than what it supposed to be ...

Well oh Well