Sacrifice

there are different types of sacrifice

there is the type of sacrifice which i would do willingly,

but this time my sacrifice are not the kind of sacrifices that i have to do willingly,

it's the sacrifice that is most likely being forced to,

and at this point of time i couldn't do anything about it ...

this is how exactly how it feels 

(sorry to say, the impact it's just not in the feeling, i can endure and deal with feelings, but i also have to sacrifice the needs of my children)

huffftttt ....
Definitely very frustrating,,

when  basic needs have to be sacrificed
(again... along with several more people and their families)

and what soo ridiculously is that

our rights have to be hold on because one tiny group of people has to have their funs ?, have to take care their "we know who" most probably?, along with  other luxurious daily or weekly needs ... yakkss... 

how can this be happening  ...
the admiration and probably some other emotions attached

for some reason , which  are getting blurry now ???  ,,,,
that's why i said earlier "things looks better from outside"

this is definitely too much..
the reasoning didn't make more sense either
and stupidly enough, being treated this way,
i still have my heart stuck ...another yakks for me....

when i finally have our free full weekends saturdays and sundays,

i can not do anything either, 

since i have no money either ...

total SUCK!!!

btw,  this is what those persons don't know,
the best part of all this was few days before, 
the moment when i had to tell them,
i wonder if one of those person can still smile like what when they told us
if they had to tell those 'small' people
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I just couldn't bare to look at their  expressions
especially the facial expression from one of my guy

his face was shock and looks like wanna cry,

i felt like crying too, on the other hand, i can't do anything either ...
i truly do not like this moment

If usually i can come up with a good excuse to neutralize whatever conditions,

this time i just told them plainly and bluntly ...

"don't ask me why, since i don't know either, and i honestly think it's not fair for us either"

short ~ simple ~ bad news is bad news ...

and now i just have to swallow all of it,

of course, my family also becomes the indirect victims of this situation ...

it comes with a regret sometimes,

why didn't i leave when i got the chance,

but since i did decided to be here,

then i just have to believe that God definitely has other plan ...

maybe now He is trying to open my eyes that some people are not as nice, as gentle and as kind as they appear to be ,,,,
or....
better plan of HIM,
is He will show me the rainbow after this
Doesn't a wise word say
"You have to put up with the rains if you want to see the beautiful Rainbow"

I don't know ............

LIFE IS GOD'S MISTERY, 

No One Knows How It Will Turn To at The End,

but HE Just Ask Me to Believe in HIS Plan and HIS Thought,

and I'd better Follow HIM