Unjustice

Another Rambling Moment 

Sometimes world can be truly unfair 

sometimes i wonder why in this world most of the times 

The Bad always get away of what they do, and never get punished, 

Instead the Good One be a Victim 

It's Ironic When :

Few people thinks One Assault and Battery is just a small case, not taking anything serious from it

One is truly afraid, shock, shaked and probably traumatized - it's a matter of life and death situation and his life is in danger - it truly shows how trembled he is - sitting down while praying in that little room - his tears continues to fall down without stop - thinking of the family, the wife, his little kid at home - maybe reviewing back of what he did wrong to deserve this kind of treatment

Some others who already know about it - just pretend that they didn't see anything

Some others sympathize , empathize but remains still - cannot do anything 

The Last Big Group of people watch closely what would the Few people do for the matter - in other words, the Last Big Group of people wanna see what kind of justice that they will see ...

But when The Decision Comes Out ~ 

it's like Boom !!!

One Death & Life Matter combines with Assaults and Real Battery 

Is Only Be Punished with a Piece of Paper 

Speechless ... Needless to Say More

It's Like the Night Sky without Any Stars and Moon

Just Empty ~ Gazing at the Dark Black Sky

Maybe Half Wonder and Ask

God, What's Your Plan Behind this

Because You Always Have the Right Plan for everybody

Reality Check

Some Things Left Being Not Understood

Some still be God's Master Mind

Teach Me to Understand More of Your Plan

Keep Protect and Guard Us

Wherever Whenever

Real Justice Come From You not By People

reminds us why we don't need to depend on other human

but Just to Rely on You, God

Another Life taken By DRUG

who doesn't know Whitney Houston? 
who doesn't idolize Whitney Houston?
who doesn't know Whitney Houston's songs?

people all over the world know, at least like one or two of her songs,
people remember how great her singing voice is,
the very high notes that not a lot of people can sing,
the many octaves that not a lot of people can hit,
the arts and beautiful songs she contribute to make this world more harmonious 

ALL GONE .......  
Once she's exposed to drug, there is no more running away from it,
Drugs is something that took her down forever,
It ruins her gorgeous pure singing voice,
It ruins her beautiful exotic face,
It just totally ruins her ....

Whitney Houston still will be mourned by many, millions of people,
Whitney Houston still will be missed a lot,
and obviously her songs still alive and remembered as Great Songs Ever.

Whitney's pict still at her great times

Don't try looking at her pictures at her last shown,

It will fade Her Good Image Away

Rest in Peace Whitney Houston, 

it's not me who judge whether or not she goes to heaven with God,

but Hopefully the Message Whitney Left with Us is Crystal Clear and Definitely Obvious :

"No Need to Know an Get Closer to Drugs, because there is No Turning Back, Drug will Hook You Forever and Ever, Drug will be Satisfied only if  It will Haunt you till you Die. DO NOT TRY AND DO NOT START"

Scary to even think about it.

My prayer so that God always keep my family and friends save 

and away as far as possible from Drugs Forever.

Dunia ini Panggung Sandiwara

In Indonesia  we often heard the quote :"Dunia ini Panggung Sandiwara"

I don't know whether this is right or wrong,

but now that i think of it, it's not the world that like a Stage

but the people inside it who love to play acts,

people like to be the actors,

actor wannabe.

People like to make stories, people like to pretend

one person don't like one person inside, 

but outside they appear like friends,

one person yell to one other person,

but outside they are actually just playing one scenario

everybody is practicing to be an actor.

People like to say one thing meant the exact opposite.

How tiring sometimes,

but that's the world we live in, no choice of that, until we actually stop be in it, 

than we are not the actor again, but the Stage World still continues ...

until God make it stop ....

as William Shakespeare ever said or wrote :

"All the world is a stage ~ And all the men and women merely players ~ They have their exits and their entrances ~ And one man in his time plays many parts "

btw, who sing this song "Dunia ini Panggung Sandiwara" - it seems ages ago.

now, that i'm trying to put a label in this post ...

Between 'Just a Sigh' and 'Just for Laugh' are actually two very opposites themes, 

but then again here we are in this stage world , it fits both. 

Another something  ... Sesuatu (kalau kata Syahrini) 

Sunburn

I never recall getting sunburn before, but since 3 and half years ago there had been 3 times I experienced it:

1st TIME

more or less 3 years ago  ; my first pretty bad sunburn after swimming almost half day at the training session at HS Swimming Pool - somewhere @ Pondok Kopi.  << kalo dipikir lagi kenapa juga kita yg kerjanya di f&b, kitchen, marketing,  harus ikutan swimming test pula - it's not like we are the lifeguard,,,,,, later on i thought the swimming test was just for the fun part >>  Anyway, the Sunburn Not just on my face, but also my back and my thigh ... the thing with sunburn was that not just the reddish color that looks really ugly, but worse yet was the feeling of itch and harsh all over the burnt skin(pedih nya terasa banget di kulit, belum kadang juga gatel yang mana gak mungkin digaruk karena takut menimbulkan luka and infeksi ato sesuatu yang lebih parah lagi) ... that was the first sunburn i remembered that lasted for more than a week.

2nd TIME

Two days in a row playing in the water park, the first day in Ocean World was totally fine, i put on quite a lot of sunblock on my face, back and all other places that were not covered by swimming cloth, so the sun did not burn me... the next day, when we were in one of rented cabana in Caribbean Bay water park, after i put on the sunblock on my back and leg, when i  was going to put on my sunblock lotion on my face, i saw a sunblock that my boss used, and since i never see the kind of sunblock that is rolled on,.... hhmmm, i think this sunblock is cute ...  moreover i was thinking -- swimming in korea, so better use korean sunblock ,,, hehehe,, how i was soo silly back then ,,, so i couldn't help to ask my boss whether i may borrow and use his... so i put my sunblock aside and used that rolled on sunblock on my face ... pede lah bahwa this nice looking sunblock ini pastinya lebih bagus drpada yg dibawa dari jakarta ... baru realized after few hours going round and round, the weather was actually cool not hot, but the sun was definitely shining (terik istilahnya) , i just realized why my face felt hot , then my friend said my face was totally red ... ooo, darn, i got sunburn, good thing i realized it quick, so washed my face and put my regular sunblock ...

Half-dark red, but good thing it wasn't that bad ...  well, good lesson for me: i supposed my skin and korean type of skin are different, they don't need extra protection sunblock like i did ...

3rd TIME

Last Saturday ...  accompanying my son and daughter to go to a School Festival..  termasuk salah satu hari terpanas di bbrp minggu terakhir ini .. felt like there were 2 suns .. was extremely hot ... we were there exposed to the sun from 10 o'clock in the morning until 3 o'clock in the afternoon ... nice way to get sunburn ... this time i was totally forget my sunblock , i didn't think it was that hot and i didn't think that all area except the stage was not covered by tents .. ou ou ou ... jadilah sepulang dari sana, capek, dan stelah mandi, i realized got sunburn pretty bad ...  until now, two days after, my face still reddish although not as bad as sunday ...  thank's for the Phien Ce Wang's powder (recommended by my mom)  every some hours, i put on this powder, this powder give sensation of coolness in the face ... it helps a lot reduce the smearing hot feeling, also reduce the reddish color in the face ...

if Tomorrow never Comes

After about a week be able to ease my mind,

be able to sleep and close my eyes without thought or glanced of him first

this very morning on my way to office,

i heard this song was played on the radio, was it bravaradio or kissfm?

while listening, didn't realize that one or two tears dropped from my eyes,

some years ago i remember posting in this blog about memory song,

and i remember putting down this song

'If tomorrow Never Comes by Ronan Keating' as one of my memory song with this friend

now, i remember that every time i ride in his car, 

that was the song that was played over and over again in his tape player..

he made me like country song for a change,

there was this album by Alan Jackson (country singer)

that was also favorite album of him ... my fave song from that album is 'Living on Love'

  how i still hope you just go to other part of this earth temporarily 

and would come back again someday ...

lots of "i still hope"  about him Lingering in my mind ... 

but he definitely won't return ...
I know and understand this is not good to do, but still doing it ...

we promised to meet sometimes after the lebaran season is over,

but haven't find the time yet (i seriously feel like singing  If I can Turn Back Time now) ...

how unfortunate his favorite song back then, become real now .. 

Tomorrow Never Comes for him again ...

"Sometimes late at night -- I lie awake and watch her sleeping - --- - - -"

My Memory ~ First time ~

Most people call me by 'Reb', 'Beck', 'Becca', 'Becky', or even full words 'Rebecca' ... this friend call me just "Ka" so differently than the others.

Ka, ayo lah beli handphone , yang second aja , yang penting supaya gampang gw hubungin loe kalau ada yg penting2, gw anter ya beli handphone >>> 

there you go a Memory with him ~ my first Mobile Phone  and also the same number i use until now from already more than 10 years already.

Ka, loe mesti fitness ya supaya sehat, ayok lah sekalian temenin gw fitness, males fitness kalo sendirian, yg deket2 sini aja   >>>  

so there you go another Memory with him ~ My First Fitness experience together ~ it last  for one or two years or so (i forget) @ Atlantic, not bad that i can hold doing exercise for that long  ~ even though i already move to different place, we still meet in the fitness, then we all got busy with our lives, we quit the fitness  .... 

Ka, pernah karaoke gak, si a, b dan c ngajakin karaoke, ikutan khan. 

I remember we went to Sheraton Media Hotel at the time. I hesitated , then again as usual i just tag along  >>>Memory,  he introduced me to have fun doing karaoke. ~ Another first time 




A year or two years after i moved job to that company, he also moved job at the same company, but he got placed at one store, and i was in different location, before he got accepted to other chain of retail and moved there until the his last moment.

'he sometimes still brag about you in the weekly morning briefing'  
some friends said -- after i moved from there.

Last long contact with him is when i have a difficult problem almost a year ago, it was so happened that out of the blue i received a text message from him, so then i burst my problem to him. Come to think of it , he was the First Person  i told about that problem to people outside family.

he is the kind of person who still like to keep in touch, either just monthly sms or call.

Some Memory i had with him,

i never realize i have lots of 'first time moment' until i decided to write it down,
> me with gazing wet eyes <

Just a thought : it means that in the future time,

i won't get an update of him.

And Today i truly miss this friend. 

So Long, Good Bye
Please make sure You Are Happy Up There in the Sky !!!

Resting Forever

from earth to earth ~ from ash to ash ~ from dust to dust 

The Lord God bless them and keep them, 

the Lord make their face to shine upon them

 and be gracious unto them and give them peace. 

Amen.

just in the 2 weeks time, 3 persons have died .... 2 of them are my friends, 1 is my daughter's friend's sister ....

Rest in Peace for these 3 persons ... all of them have died because of cancer ... that disease is a killer, indeed ... 1 of my aunt also died of cancer ... hopefully in their last moment of their time, they don't have to suffer of their sickness too much ...

She enjoys writing ~ she is smart, i am not sure her exact age, but she still pretty young, maybe 40 something ~ actually because of our hobby in writing we work together for Delon's magazine back then, some 5 years ago maybe ~ i remember when we had meeting after office hours for several times, especially whenever it's almost the dateline for the magazine to be printed ~ she is the person who is firm in principal ~ i love to read her writing ~ Some Good Memory with her ~ unfortunately I couldn't make it to her last visit , since it was in Bogor, where she lives ~ night time and I drive alone to Bogor so I was kinda afraid if there is something happen on the way I go there and back home, so I decided not to go ~ Rest in Peace, dear friend

Another friend is a friend and also was my manager from my previous work, more than ten years ago  ~ he is still quite young either, only 43 , two years apart from my age ~ when i heard and know how he died of lung cancer ~ was very much shocking news ~ in my knowledge, he never smoke, has healthy live, eat healthy food, do fitness regularly ~ friend said that he moan that he can't breath, and short-breath (sesak nafas) so his family bring him to the hospital ~ he is already in lung cancer stadium 4 ~ OMG , isn't that scary, cancer stadium 4 without a signal previously ~ then he was in hospital for almost 2 weeks and that is it ~ Rest in Peace, my dear & beloved friend

My daughter's friend sister also dies very young of cancer . My daughter was truly shock for some days when she got the news, i think that's a first time she has some one she know dies ..  Rest in Peace, dear friend.

Rest in Peace my dear friends ~ I am sure you are in happier place now, place without sickness and pain ~ as I never go there, but people define HEAVEN as a place where there is Never Ending Happiness ~ sounds like Great Place to Be ~ and I hope all of them are there.

'i hate slow'

yup, that's the slogan that makes me want to switch and buy smartfren now...
lately, the connection has been very very slow,
like yesterday when i have the time to blog,
then the connection didn't support,
not along playing games, it certainly take ages to do the game loading...unbelievable!!!

slow connection really waste your time,

takes more than 5 min to open one link completely,

don't have the patience to wait

today is little better than previous days
at least i can open my blog and listen to the Dream High song without buffering too long

but .... if i buy anotherone, is another waste ..
my wellcomm already used with the telkomsel flash.

wonder if their tagline advertisement really true
not just for now, but later later on in the near future

City Water

seems fresh and quenching

the city water alias PAM smell too strong of chlorine these past few days, even in SnowBay where water everywhere, the water doesn't smell at all, the facility crew always make sure we use the proper and the right amount of any chemical in all the pool.  Not just that, we bring it to the lab every two weeks, testing the water always in the right PH.

simply not funny when we wash our hairs, the hairs smells like chlorine, or when we baths, our body doesn't smell as nice as the soap, but smell more chlorine,  isn't it

It makes me wonder how they do the water treatment in this city,,, Is there the SOP (Standard of Procedure) in their process, or there is the SOP but the staffs not doing their work accordingly, do they understand and realize the important and vital our water is ...  sometimes the water looks clear and good, sometimes just looks cloudy .. I used a simple filtering for my bath tap by putting some aquarium filter sponge before going to the bathtub, and amazingly in a week or sometimes even less, the filter just looks black color, so long for clean clear water.

sometimes ago when my aunt's husband work still worked as one of the chemists at the Singapore government in the Pub,,he explained what they do with their water treatment in singapore,  i had pretty much a basic general things how they managed their water from its resources to being distributed to all the pipes at singaporean's homes, plus their water is safely consumed from the tap, just like in the States and some European countries..

we'll see whether we will reach the point where we can directly consumed the water from the tap?

Is there Friends @ WorkS ???

at this late at night, after finish the phone conversation

although it's not concerning me ,obviously nothing i would want to get involved too much, much rather being listener and comment as necessary.

things like this always makes me wonder,
either Yesterday, Today, or Tomorrow
things like this always happen in the absolute crazy working world,
i come into a conclusion

Is there really such thing called "true friends" in the working world ???

just take it from what i had experienced from various situations either in the past or now,
that friends who works with you is just like in the political world,
sometimes they can be your friends when they have something on you,
or they can make fun of you, laugh of you when you do something stupid or when you make mistake in your works,
some even stab you from the back, or worse they even stab you from the front ...

in short they can be your friends as quick and as easy as they can be your enemies.

The Working world is truly not something you can count on to make friends,
because we never know what would happen next,

I also don't blame why people would change so fast,
it's probably the same thing with me,

I am trying to think who's to blame ....

the very dynamic working world that makes people have to adjust quicker,

other wise the slower ones got killed ?

our super high ambition ?

our selfishness ?

it's all wrapped up in the 6 SINS out of THE 7 SINS which stays in every human being, isn't it ?

WRATH, GREED, SLOTH, PRIDE, ENVY, LUST

except Gluttony

pictures by BLACKERI DEVIANT ART (from mr. google)

Be Nice or Bad

Being NICE or BAD person is certainly our own choice, isn't it??  Most people wanna be nice person instead of bad person, it comes naturally and logically perhaps. That also applies to me, i want it to be a nice person in front of everybody, wherever and whenever, but i find it sometimes the case is just not this simple.

Being NICE not necessarily mean is a good thing to do.
I experience it myself several times, by doing the RIGHT THING can mean that somebody who doesn't do the right thing can be in trouble.
Unfortunately when it happens, people around me will naturally think that i am the bad person who caused this person get the punishment.  

This is what happen to the world surrounding, that right now is making me fed up. Everybody is trying soo very hard to be a nice person, nobody care about RIGHT or WRONG anymore. As long as we keep being friends with everybody, minding our own business, everybody save, everybody happy.  Is that the kind of world I have to live with, or does this kind of thing only happen in "my world" ... sigghh ... it just makes me so frustrated and even stressed out sometimes. Sometimes i want to shout to these people , "Hello, people, are you blind / are you deaf. What is wrong with all of you. Don't we all want to be in a BETTER???"

In this funny world that i cope with everyday, unfortunately a thief, a corrupter, or plain lazy person can CLAIM  that he/she is "The Victim", and hopelessly others whom also wanted to be nice people pretend not to know of the Wrong that this person do, but just tag along with the 'calm' society.  The worse thing is that we can not say anything either, because we will embarrassed the person, and that's not what i want too.

But do i have to be stressed out with something like this, not even worth my time and energy and my mind thinking about it ..  some say, let it be people will know eventually who's right or wrong, however that knowledge sometimes will come much much later.

this image is not created by me, it is found by the google pict

This is the time when sometimes i wish i can have that quarter part or just 10% of my brother characters or genes who don't care about what others will think of him or whether or not he has to be in QUARREL or FIGHT with people As Long as it is the RIGHT THING to do according to him, he just bluntly do it no matter what.

~~~ To Be Better from the current condition means that we Must Minimize all mistakes, Must Minimize defections (can not be Zero Defection, but don't have to Many Defects either, right), Must Minimize all the Leaking, Must Minimize Tolerance for Laziness, Dishonesty .... OTHERWISE, the present condition will be stuck, at least that's what i think ~~~

it is supposed to be an easy choice, but in practice why it ain't that simple, or is it just a lame excuse for me for being to chicken out about the world. Enlighten me, please.

still Christmas blog!

oopps... 

this time a year ...

and still Christmas atmosphere in my blog ...

first, i'll get rid of the Christmas songs youtube...

then, i will see if i feel like changing the other things ...

real life's Drama

when i watch any drama,

either it's soap opera, K-drama (korean drama),sinetron (indonesian drama), telenovela (mexican drama),

most of them amused me in few or some ways,

makes me cry 

makes me tensed

makes me angry or sometimes even furious that i get the feeling to strangle the villain's character,

all kinds of mixed feelings emerge from watching drama ..

dramas i love soo much,

dramas we love soo much...

i start to think these few days 

is my life becoming like one of the korean drama or indonesian drama,

there are so many things happen in my life right now,

just like what i watch some episodes...

oooo, gee... nooo!!!!

i definitely don't like it ...

some days or months in your life start to become several episodes from the drama ...

good satisfied ending, please

~ tired ~

o. God,

i am soo soo tired

can not be described by words ..

i am just soo tired,,,

my mind

my heart

my soul ....

just soo soo tired

very tired

i need something to lean on,

or somebody,,

but nobody here can lend me the shoulder to lean on ...

i just have You to lean

nobody else ...

Almighty God, my Father,

please grant me my wishes

i believe You will extend Your hand

to pull me out from all these at the right time ...

meanwhile,
give me the strength,

the patience,

the wisdom,

to do everything
to survive

Choke Incident

want to enjoy sate ayam (chicken satay),  turn out to be scary incident ..  hufftt.... for the time being, that would be the last sate for quite sometimes in the near future ....

yesterday nite buying sate, like regular i eat it one skewer per skewer ,,,  then at one particular sate .... i choke on something .... felt something weird going through my throat ... tried to puke it back right away  .... aakkk... aaakkk... aaakkkk..... it doesn't come out... seems that 'the thing' stuck in the middle of the throat ... 

oh,my ,,, i am an f&b person and know exactly what to do in case of choking incidents, but this weird thing hasn't gone through inside yet, and felt like it sticks on the throat   ....

my son and daughter were panicking ... Jonathan hit the back of my neck several times hoping that thing is going out .... i am still in my effort, afraid to close my mouth , obviously can't talk either, becoz i was afraid that thing would go more deeper inside the throat ...

finally after several minutes, i felt that 'the thing' slowly came into my mouth a bit, i tried to search for it with my hand, it was still sticking in the top of my mouth .... 

Voila, 'that thing' finally was able to come out ...

and it was a very thin wooden piece from the sate skewer, about 2.5 cm long ...

good thing, i was survived eventhough till today i felt that the surface of my throat and the top of my mouth is still a little hurt, maybe due to the scratch that wooden pieces ...

What a Scary Choking Incident...

this is taken searching from google:

tired or bored

i am in between this state of mind ...

don't know whether i feel TIRED of everything 

or

Am I  BORED of everything ...

really don't know ...

have to find something better to do ...

i always think that Foreign Language is my interest,

maybe becoz in the past i used to be good and quick learning of  foreign language

thought of learning Hebrew 3 wks or a month before

it came to mind when my church started the Hebrew lesson for free

teached by a Rabbi from there,,,

but then again

i was afraid that i can't attend the courses routinely 

with the job like mine that seems like robbing away my leisure time ho ho ho ...

still learning Korean every night (or at least every other night or so)

study 2 books already, 1 cd,

yet everytime i tried to catch what my bosses talked to each other,

still can't understand it ... hhuuufft  ....

meaning listening comprehension still poor ... very poor !!!

so what to do to release all the tensions from fatique or boredom...

hhmmm..........

i need the time to do something or go somewhere maybe ...

being alone for some days seems like the ideal moment for me at the present ...

maybe it will be a good time for me to think what i want to do for the next few years ahead ...

????

ottoke 

Sacrifice

there are different types of sacrifice

there is the type of sacrifice which i would do willingly,

but this time my sacrifice are not the kind of sacrifices that i have to do willingly,

it's the sacrifice that is most likely being forced to,

and at this point of time i couldn't do anything about it ...

this is how exactly how it feels 

(sorry to say, the impact it's just not in the feeling, i can endure and deal with feelings, but i also have to sacrifice the needs of my children)

huffftttt ....
Definitely very frustrating,,

when  basic needs have to be sacrificed
(again... along with several more people and their families)

and what soo ridiculously is that

our rights have to be hold on because one tiny group of people has to have their funs ?, have to take care their "we know who" most probably?, along with  other luxurious daily or weekly needs ... yakkss... 

how can this be happening  ...
the admiration and probably some other emotions attached

for some reason , which  are getting blurry now ???  ,,,,
that's why i said earlier "things looks better from outside"

this is definitely too much..
the reasoning didn't make more sense either
and stupidly enough, being treated this way,
i still have my heart stuck ...another yakks for me....

when i finally have our free full weekends saturdays and sundays,

i can not do anything either, 

since i have no money either ...

total SUCK!!!

btw,  this is what those persons don't know,
the best part of all this was few days before, 
the moment when i had to tell them,
i wonder if one of those person can still smile like what when they told us
if they had to tell those 'small' people
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I just couldn't bare to look at their  expressions
especially the facial expression from one of my guy

his face was shock and looks like wanna cry,

i felt like crying too, on the other hand, i can't do anything either ...
i truly do not like this moment

If usually i can come up with a good excuse to neutralize whatever conditions,

this time i just told them plainly and bluntly ...

"don't ask me why, since i don't know either, and i honestly think it's not fair for us either"

short ~ simple ~ bad news is bad news ...

and now i just have to swallow all of it,

of course, my family also becomes the indirect victims of this situation ...

it comes with a regret sometimes,

why didn't i leave when i got the chance,

but since i did decided to be here,

then i just have to believe that God definitely has other plan ...

maybe now He is trying to open my eyes that some people are not as nice, as gentle and as kind as they appear to be ,,,,
or....
better plan of HIM,
is He will show me the rainbow after this
Doesn't a wise word say
"You have to put up with the rains if you want to see the beautiful Rainbow"

I don't know ............

LIFE IS GOD'S MISTERY, 

No One Knows How It Will Turn To at The End,

but HE Just Ask Me to Believe in HIS Plan and HIS Thought,

and I'd better Follow HIM

Looks BETTER from Further & Outer Distance

it's always happen ...

...................

something we like or

someone we admire and respect,,,

looking something or someone from further away
is 
much much BETTER and much more LOVABLE 
than

when you start to look at it from closer distance

......

that's what happen...

when you start liking something,,,,

admiring someone,,,,

you can't help it ,,,

you start to dig deeper and deeper,,,,

so you can get a better and closer look at it,,,
or....
you start want to be closer,,,

but when you get inside ,,,

you find thing is not what you expected it ...

that's when it comes the regret

why you started to get closer than what it supposed to be ...

Well oh Well

I Wonder ,,,

today has been raining all day long ...
my son said it's been raining since 4 am yesterday ...
and hasn't stopped yet until maybe around 9 or 10 pm ...

two o'clock in the morning already ...
yet same things happen ....
just can't go to sleep ....

i realize sometimes it just dawn on me ...
blank mind
empty heart
no expression
no feelings

what happen is!!!
beneath what's going on -----
beneath every conversations i make ---- 
behind my smiles & laughter ----
behind the scenes of what i do routinely ----
that's it ....
it's just that --- bunch of routine activities ---but inside is blank ---

sometimes i just wonder WHAT IS IT 

that WILL ACTUALLY can make me truly happy, 

can make me truly feel satisfaction, 

can make me truly feel has a great life ... 

it's pretty sad that i don't know the answer yet ...

Funny but True

Hopefully i am not the only one 

who experience this kind of things happen





GoodLightscraps.com

i don't mind looking at the rain from the window,

if i would be able see that beautiful rainbow at the end ...

my song for tonight
different title for this song : "Not Enough Love/Only Love/Just with Love"  by Kim Boom Soo
from What Happened in Bali starred Jo In Sung, So Ji Sub, Ha Ji Won...

kim boom soo mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

Need Refreshing

buzy buzy buzy

need sleep ~ need sleep ~ need sleep

after the 1st anniversary celebration

i need refreshing ~ refreshing ~ refreshing

stay over at hotel will be sufficient enough

to recharge my energy

in the meantime,

energy level definitely can not go down

hotel ~ hotel ~ hotel

!!!!!!!