a Dash of him

don't know exactly how to put it

as soon as i get home which is about 2 hours ago,

i stared at my hand-phone, in dilemma
dilemma whether or not i want to send him an sms or not

after several minutes staring at my Samsung mobile phone,

i decided to write something 

because i want him to know that 

it's not just from me, but words come truly from all of us,

the five of us really respect and love him more and more every day

we were amazed  of what he did
(is amaze  the right word to express it or not...hhmm)   ...

i text him a simple notes with hopefully a clear purpose behind it that,

we always support him, no matter how sometimes things get very complicated 

nevertheless it's sometimes concerning our own personal needs that needs to be taken care of too...

come to my surprise, 

he reply  with soo nice & warm words

sigghss,,,, i am very touched, some tears maybe drop already to my cheeks

and not just feeling sensitive or emotionally whatever,

but i feel enlightened by his warm words

that's the kind of man i look up to

don't misunderstand - it's definitely not an infatuation

but i do admire him,

i already see, know, experienced and understand some of his weakness

however his weakness are covered by his tremendous good sides and extremely fine virtue of him
his honesty and sincerity
one in a million
i feel it's worthwhile knowing him

enough said...

I wish that God bless him abundantly

so that he would be the person 
whom God trust to be His Blessing channel for me for longer time possible

I Wonder ,,,

today has been raining all day long ...
my son said it's been raining since 4 am yesterday ...
and hasn't stopped yet until maybe around 9 or 10 pm ...

two o'clock in the morning already ...
yet same things happen ....
just can't go to sleep ....

i realize sometimes it just dawn on me ...
blank mind
empty heart
no expression
no feelings

what happen is!!!
beneath what's going on -----
beneath every conversations i make ---- 
behind my smiles & laughter ----
behind the scenes of what i do routinely ----
that's it ....
it's just that --- bunch of routine activities ---but inside is blank ---

sometimes i just wonder WHAT IS IT 

that WILL ACTUALLY can make me truly happy, 

can make me truly feel satisfaction, 

can make me truly feel has a great life ... 

it's pretty sad that i don't know the answer yet ...

Funny but True

Hopefully i am not the only one 

who experience this kind of things happen





GoodLightscraps.com

i don't mind looking at the rain from the window,

if i would be able see that beautiful rainbow at the end ...

my song for tonight
different title for this song : "Not Enough Love/Only Love/Just with Love"  by Kim Boom Soo
from What Happened in Bali starred Jo In Sung, So Ji Sub, Ha Ji Won...

kim boom soo mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

Tompi & Autumn In Paris

do you know what ...

don't know if this is always such a coincidence or what....

after first and second time reading Autumn in Paris by Ilana Tan,

every time i have a thought about it

(and usually i think in my car while driving)

the radio whatever the channel is would be playing Tompi Song....

i didn't really pay attention to it in the beginning,

but second time it happens

i tried to listen to his song lyric 

nah ternyata setelah mendengar lirik lagu Tompi yang satu ini

"tak pernah setengah hati"

liriknya itu pas pas banget dengan situasi nya Autumn in Paris

i just can't believe it that this song by Tompi

very much describe what happens on Autumn in Paris 

the love situation between Tatsuya and Tara

i can feel it in this song ....

and now -- whenever i heard this song being played in the radio,

my mind automatically goes back at Autumn in Paris 

listen to Tompi song 

the melody is beautiful and touching,

especially love the music arrangement ~ 

the orchestra adds the elegance and emphasis of this song

here is the lyric of 'Tak Pernah Setengah Hati'

Tak pernah setengah hati
Ku mencintaimuku memiliki dirimu
Setulus-tulusnya jiwa
Ku serahkan semua hanya untukmuTak pernah aku niati untuk melukaimu
Atau meninggalkan dirimu
Sesal ku selalu bila tak sengaja
Aku buat kau menangis
Reff
Memiliki mencintai dirimu kasihku
Tak akan pernah membuat diriku menyesal
Sungguh matiku
Hidupku ‘kan selalu membutuhkan kamu

And this is what Tatsuya said to Tara Dupont, his only Love and Happiness and also his step sister unfortunately -- before he decided to go back to Japan and not knowing if he would ever come back to Paris.

"Aku sangat senang bisa mengenalmu... Terimakasih... Aku tidak pernah menyesal mengenalmu, Percayalah padaku.... Berjanjilah padaku kau akan baik-baik saja."

And this is what Tara Dupont said to Tatsuya Fujisawa, her only Love  ... 

after the accident at the working place, he waited in his comma for several days for Tara to come to Tokyo from Paris, and after hearing this, he's gone .... 

"Terima kasih.... Terimakasih atas semua yang sudah kaulakukan untukku. Aku selalu senang bersamamu.  Kau membuat segalanya menyenangkan... Saat-saat bersamamu adalah saat-saat paling membahagiakan..  Aku selalu mengira saat itu bisa bertahan selamanya." ............   and i always remember this line because i repeat it again and again and again,   "Biarkan aku menangis.  Hari ini saja.  Tidak perlu mengkhawatirkan aku.  Aku akan baik-baik saja. ... Mungkin butuh waktu, tapi aku akan baik-baik saja.  Aku janji.....  Aku akan selalu menyayangimu.  aku mencintaimu... mencintamu... sangat mencintaimu..."

This song by Tompi is JUST PERFECT  for this LOVE STORY ...

and i am going crazy over all of these ....

i actually hate this when it happens to me

but sometimes it just happen ...

i can't help how i may react toward something ....

something i read ....

something i listen ....

something i see .....

there goes the song:
"Tak Pernah Setengah Hati" by TOMPI

Small Thing ,, named CARE

I may call it rather strange
coming from somebody like him
which is actually not in his capacity to butt in

swimming
diet
has been repeated several times already

if i don't know better i may already get offended by his statement
but i know he means well,
he wants me to be healthy
and he knows i have been healthy
but healthy in wider and longer term

i guess i should've start somewhere sometimes very near
dieting is not just about getting thinner
but it's about getting a healthy lifestyle

i like the caring thought coming from him
and what i like the most is he didn't just say it with just talking non sense,
he also give his support

from times to times, this person always surprises me,
it's nice to have him around, always nice to have him around
somebody who can be relied on and depended upon...
(Thanks God for this)
unlike some people usually just talk and talk,
but no action of caring at all ....

Autumn in Paris

sayangnya sebelum beli buku ini, sempet google-google n akhirnya ketauan lah kalo novel ini will end up with sad ending .... huhuhuhu ... why don't people write "spoiler" before they write review books or movies or whatever ...

i am practically prepared and aware of how the ending is going to be

nevertheless still left my big curiosity

mengingat ini buku ketiga dari Ilana Tan yang aku baca,

dan notabene 2 dari buku sebelumnya ***  yang aku baca sudah sukses membuat hampir setiap hari kepikiran dan terbayang2 sama tokoh-tokoh ceritanya Ilana Tan.

there it goes:  *** spoiler everywhere ***

Tatsuya Fujisawa & Tara Dupont

keduanya blasteran French & Asian
both have beautiful comforting Grey Eyes, nice black hair
both have Asian/Oriental looks more outstanding then their French looks

Tara Dupont, 

talkative, cheerful, active girl, working as a radio presenter, love the Autumn season very much...

on the other hand, 

Tatsuya Fujisawa, 

the man has quite the opposite character, mungkin karena bbrp incident sepertinya ibunya meninggal di musim gugur sehingga dia sama sekali ga suka musim Gugur ....

baca novel ini bener2 menguras habis air mata,

terutama setelah kenyataan yang pahit yang harus diterima oleh 2 orang.

from the beginning till the middle, i truly enjoy whatever about Tatsuya,,,
everything he does just mesmerize me ...

my heart always pounding & sometimes laugh when email of Tatsuya to the radio being read by the announcer ...

his emails display his true feeling to a girl whom he admire

i am more deeply touched dengan  his innocence in liking this Tara girl - kepolosan dia dalam mengagumi sosok gadis ini

ngajak kencan lewat email yang ditulis ke radio ...

all about Tatsuya - makes me totally in love

if there is a guy who is similar like Tatsuya Fujisawa ... very honest in his feeling and his expressions ... romantic but not overdoing,  bisa kerasa romantisnya dia, sangat polos dan bener2 ga dibuat-buat.... sigghs, i am soo in love with him ...

Everything is soo perfect until Eloise's (friend of Tara) birthday party at club La Vue (the club that belongs to Tara's father) 

2 important points happened in that night:

1.  Tara found out and feels flattered that she was actually the one who  Tatsuya  told in the email...  sosok cewe yang telah membuat Tatsuya terpesona di Charles de Gaulle Airport for the first time, and she found out also that she has actually met Tatsuya twice before she was officially being introduced to Tatsuya by Sebastien (Tara's friend) at the cafe... 

Imagine Tara, feeling happy, flattered and blushing, and whatever else on her mind after knowing this ...  i would feel that way too if i was her... ..  extremely happy obviously  

Then comes another important fact at the same night:

2.  Another surprise ... this time is for Tatsuya ... . pada waktu Tatsuya mendengar Jean Daniel, si pemilik klub La Vue itu memanggil nama Tara dengan sebutan "Victoria" dan Tara pun memanggil Jean Daniel dengan sebutan "Papa...  

Kekagetan yang dirasakan Tatsuya saat ini, shock pastinya, and dalam hati mungkin  "what the hell is going on" (maybe in french or even japanese) ....

Honestly, at this very moment when both Tara and her father greet each other,,, i just feel like closing this book and don't want to continue, because i get a feeling where this story will go on after that ....  oh oh oh....  why should this be happening ...

still continue ....

story still goes beautiful, touching, very very sad, but very very romantic  ...

no...  i will not know and can't feel how they feel after they know that horrible fact ...

their love to each other already get in too deep, sincere ,,,

yet they can't love each other anymore

first i can't understand why Ilana Tan made Tatsuya die by the accident at his working place,

but now after reading the book several times (4 or 5 times) knowing how big and deep their love to each other,  i totally understand why it has to end like this ... 

for two person in love like those two,

it already became like living in hell for both of them,

esp for guy who has soft feeling like Tatsuya ... 

i break into crazy crying, reading the last chapter reading all those emails between Tatsuya Fujisawa and Sebastien Gerardieu ...

the whole story is flowing soo easily yet very deep ...

the 1st time reading, second time reading, third time reading, even til the fifth still my heart doesn't want to let go of him...

saat itu Tatsuya punya banyak permohonan yang ia tahu tidak akan bisa terkabul.  Kenyataan tidak akan bisa diubah.  Tetapi ketika ia memandang Tara dan melihatnya tersenyum, ia tahu apa yang diinginkannya ..... 

dan dia menjawab email Sebastien...

"Selama dia bahagia, aku juga akan bahagia.  Sesederhana itu."

For me, this is the Best Love Story ever,  don't know if i am exaggerating or not, but it feels like that to me,,, i even think it's better than Romeo and Juliette love story, who ends up with two people in love die - kill themselves ....

Autumn in Paris ... hiks hiks hiks

*** First reading of Ilana Tan's novel is  Summer in Seoul  , and Second reading is   Winter in Tokyo ... while actually from the Season, i should've probably read Autumn in Paris second ... it doesn't matter ... all three area good love story, one better than another, Autumn in Paris soo far is the Best for me... 

Some FootBall Sport Drama

i miss the FIFA World Cup , it has filled up my insomnia nights with some good games

well, since there is nothing left to say bout the games, since it was all over with the SPAIN Victory ..

trying to see another point of view bout World Cup 2010 ..

from times to times, FIFA World Cup had always successfully drawn millions even billions people's attention, from the football sport itself, the countries that played, especially all the men on those field, those handsome macho men ... ck ck ck... just look at them in action... some are very young, some are already in their thirties which are already considered old in football ... 

and not miss in every FIFA is the dramatic atmosphere in some games ...

Some reality sport drama had been shown several times during this FIFA World Cup 2010,

and we never know the end of the drama until the game stops  ...

I am not talking about losing or winning,

but more to what happened in some interesting & attractive football games ...

Some legitimate goals had been disqualified,

Unguilty men became a victim by getting the warning yellow card, or even red carded ...
wuih ... wuih ... wuih ...

Losing a game in this international level game is definitely the hardest part ...

but every game must have a winner and a loser ...

and looks like being the winning part is just about everything ...
it's proven on the below capture

the famous God's hand of Maradona now transferred to Suarez the Uruguay team who tried to save the goal from Ghana shots by hand, and he is not a keeper. .... 

the handball caused him red carded right away and Ghana rewarded by penalty kick ... Suarez was cried his eyes out, however in about 2 minutes after he saw that Ghana can not make that penalty kick he was overjoy in a sudden ... what a dramatic weird moment ... i remembered that time i was totally stunned , not sure if i am pro bout his handball, but for a second there,, i was just woow , what just happened ...

this is interesting ,,,

ever heard some people still say Men Can't Cry ...

for me, if crying make you feel good, then go ahead do it ...
nothing wrong in crying ... 

just looking at these men below crying ... 

it just make my hearts aches a bit ...

the commitment & hard work that they had given so far,

as if they just flew away

Looking at Huh Jong Mo trying to console Park Chu Yong who is in terrible sad of their lost against Uruguay .. Huh Jung Mo himself, i am sure was in a down moment too but he go out there and give his support and his consolation to his men ...

Even Park Ji Sung, the Korean's captain is putting down his head ..

Cha Du Ri - usually i loved his toughness and physical endurance, but this time i felt his heart was crushed ...

another Cha Du Ri really crying ...

Takeshi Okada, Japan team's coach is consoling Yuichi Komano, the one who failed to make that penalty goal to Paraguay's net ... he was totally crushed & poured down crying when he missed his kick ...  it's okay Komano, it hasn't meant to be... you played ur best ...

Robert Vitteck (is it right spelling??)  from Slovakia losing from Netherland (i hope my memory is right!!) ... Vitteck, calm down, after all, it was not a shame at all losing from Netherland, you & your team already beat Azzuri team, Italia, world cup winner 2006,,, you made those 2 goals playing with Italy that was a great performance ...

Italy, one of my favorite team, but even before the FIFA World Cup begin, i already knew that they won't be able to survive ... remember when I was cheering because of the Intermilan's winning against Bayern Munich at the League Championship ... Intermilan is indeed an Italian League but wait a minute, pay attention closely to their intermilan's players,, there is no leading italian player in that club ...   i personally think Italy is too late in regenerating their players ... that's why in this World Cup they are just like another team ...

the embarrassment of Italy team lost against Slovakia 2-3 ... the winner of World Cup 2006 lost by underdog team ... 

but still i can feel their sorrow & sadness ...

Fabio Cannavaro, the italian team captain consoling his team mate .....

and for the last game, the Final Game Spain vs Netherland ...  i was in favor of Spain, yet when i watched those Netherlands, Robben, Van Persie, and some others cried at the ends .. i couldn't bare to watch them either ...

everybody has played and done their part well ... it wasn't the time for Netherland yet this 2010 .... 

Olahraga Indonesia

tv programs malem ini ga ada yg menarik
sinetron -- weleh, ga ada yang bagus,
drama korea -- dah lewat , sampe rumah aja dah jam 10 lewat
sempet liat Super Pop Group sebentar --
wait a minute, some of the group -- are they trying to follow korean pop group -- yup, it looks like it, quite interesting. ..

tp tangan tiba2 berhenti di channel tvri, how unlikely ..
Sport Discussion Program
pembicaranya terdiri dari Utut Ardianto (ex atlit catur), Neneng (ex atlit karate), and satu lagi lupa sapa nama si bapak ini tp dia mewakili Departemen Olahraga

i found the discussion was interesting
ternyata hampir di semua cabang olahraga indonesia boleh dibilang menurun,
dari segi prestasi international maupun nasional, jumlah pemain yg handal, kualitas pemain yg handal,,,
anyway pointnya sport indonesia going down...

bbrp alasannya adalah:
faktor pendanaan dari pemerintah (walaupun mereka akui sekarang sudah lebih baik sedikit daripada jaman dulu), meaning pemerintah sudah mulai memperhatikan kelayakan sarana2 olahraga yang ada... duh kasihan deh, menurut mrk bbrp dari gedungnya aja dah ga layak,,, lha kalo kayak gini, gimana bisa mencetak pemain yg berkualitas...ck ck ck..

faktor lain adalah tekhnik & management pelatihan kurang memadai, meaning cara/sistem pelatihan ga bagus, orang2 yang melatih (which is most likely from the atlet themselves, they are not supported with a good management training skill), banyak cara2 & tekhnik2 pelatihan yang sudah ga dipakai lagi di banyak negara, makanya bibit2 baru sebelum mrk  sampai ke "golden productive age" sudah banyak yang jenuh, atau cedera permanen yang mengakibatkan mereka juga ogah lanjut,   dll..... 
gubrak ... aduh denger ini, kok jadi miris ya, meskipun diriku ga suka sport, tp kok ya sampe begini parahnya ya olahraga indonesia  ... walah, walah ..

faktor lain-lainya banyak sekali antara lain:  dengan kurangnya dana, memberikan dampak pemain2 yang dulu untuk rangking2 tertentu nasional sudah banyak dikirimkan ke kancah internasional/asia , sekarang tidak byk yang dikirimkan -- padahal menurut mereka dengan banyaknya bertanding di luar negeri, pemain jadi tau kompetisi nya seperti apa -- alhasil byk dari pemain kita yang so called "demam panggung" kalo ketemu lawan luar ..... weleh, weleh , indonesia jangan dipupuk ya budaya minder....

dari semua faktor yang sudah dijelaskan oleh mrk, ada 1 faktor penting yang kalo menurut ku sangat penting:

Peranan Media di dalam membangun Olah raga Indonesia...

Media sekarang terutama tv lebih seneng membahas hal2 yang meninggikan rating,

contohnya kasus Peter Porn smp sekarang ga ada habisnya, bbrp waktu yang lalu kasus Buaya Cicak, banyak lah contoh2nya .. pokoknya yang berbau2 kontroversi & provokasi itulah yg diminati oleh media sekarang untuk dipertontonkan ...

inilah akibatnya ...

 Masa iya diantara 230 juta penduduk ga bisa membentuk let's say 2 good team of football (soccer),, bulutangkis gimana nich (dulu all england -- dr 5 , 4 nya all indonesian final -- skrg jauh ,,, karate (menurut Neneng - dulu sih Vietnam ga masuk itungan sm Indonesia) skrg sm Vietnam aja kalah ... Catur (menurut Utut - juara 1 catur stiap pulang bertanding ngumpulin dollar, smp yg ratusan juta dollar, puluhan juta dollar terkumpul , dan indonesia?) --- hehehe ....

Indonesia, country with population as much as 230 million, We SHOULD BE GOOD AT ONE SPORT 

Allright, Indonesia, raih mimpimu, kejar cita-citamu ...

Diskusi ditutup dengan lagu J-Rock "Meraih Mimpi"

This Time for ESPANOLA

This Time FIFA World Cup 2010 goes to SPAIN

Spain WIN not by many but who cares

They win anyway ... 1-0 against Netherland 

So the title for Spain is complete,

The Winner of Euro Cup 2008

and FIFA World Cup 2010

i should say that the game itself is not very interesting,

intense of course, 

there were some goal shots chances flown away

either from Spain or Netherland

personally, i was happy when Fabregas was put in the field

i always liked to see him play

but in this World Cup, just like Fernando Torres who is in lots of injuries, 

barely seen him played

i enjoyed the moment even though he came at the 80 some minutes,

only get closer looks of him at the 2x15' extra times

like any other game,

there is always pro and contra

about the single goal that Spain make to win over Netherland

not important to be discussed anyway 

Viva SPAIN ...

at times like this, i can only say Being Number 1 is always THE BEST

Autumn in Paris ... hiks hiks hiks ...

another one (of course another good one) by Ilana Tan   ----
Autumn in Paris

Autumn & Paris --
Autumn & Paris match very well
and from the title, it just seems soo romantic, isn't it

about this book, i will comment more detail later on after i finish wiping out my tears who just roll down on my cheeks....

but for now,  i only want to write:

I LOVE THE STORY, but in the same time I HATE IT TOO....

Sigghhsss..... deep breath ....

i try to hold my tears although i can't stop it from rolling down just by itself once in a while,  and when it comes to this simple sentence:

dibalik foto yg kelima  ... tertulis 

  "Aku dan segala yang kuinginkan dalam hidup"

yup, gak kuat sudah, jebol aja tangisan & air mata yang dr chapter sekian tadi sudah ditahan2 ...
silly me, silly me... this is just a book

kalo biasanya aku lebih merasakan apa yang dirasakan oleh character cewek, but not this time,
i am in too deep and more with Tatsuya...

i can feel his pain
yup, yup, i can..
but then again .... i lie, i can't feel his pain,
becoz i never have experience like what Tatsuya feels
dan juga, catet,, Jangan Sampai!!!... 
(knock knock on the table) 

i fall in love with Tatsuya Fujisawa,
sangat sangat jatuh cinta dengan dia
jika aja bisa menemukan dia 

love everything about him

the way he does everything,

the way he writes those letters to the radio

the way he asks Tara Dupont for a date from the radio

the way he loves Tara Dupont ...

all soo perfect ....

Too bad, what's not perfect is only one,

his sad love story ...

will be continued .... 

World Cup GOOGLE

i always like how GOOGLE change their appearance at different season ...

even GoOgle celebrate the World Cup 2010 ..

here's the new appearance for this time ...